Saturday, January 5, 2008

I don't even know what I was running for...I guess I just felt like it.

The Catcher in the Rye. Who hasn't read that book? It's THAT book that everyone gets. It's THAT book that everyone feels and experiences. You BECOME Holden Caulfield. I can't lie...I am one of those. Catcher will always be one of my favorite novels, if not my all time favorite.

Our class was assigned to read it my sophomore year of high school (which, by the way, was the most KICK ASS year of AP English. The Great Gatsby, 1984, The Lord of the Flies, Animal Farm, Othello...come on! So dope!). Anyway, I marked up and highlighted and read the SHIT out of that book. The book meant the world to me. To me, one of the most thoughtful presents to someone is a book which has been read and read and read and marked to no end. You get something more out of your reading. You get a different person's experience.

Anyway, I digress. I lost my book right after I read it. So, it's been missing for, what, five years. I've searched my room high and low for that damn luck. It broke my heart to have it missing from my life.

On Wednesday (January 2nd) the middle of my empty room...there lay a single book. Catcher in the Rye. This book hasn't been in my room for five years. I scan the cover. Scratched, dirty, corners bended. The once white cover was now blotted with dirt and random pen marks and scratches. I open the cover. It's my book. All of my notes and ramblings and highlights and underlines. All there.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason where no two such things are "coincidences". And I am also very into taking signs that the universe is trying to give me and really using them to my advantage. I know a lot of you think this is all hokey pokey bullshit, and to you, this blabbing is I'm sure quite boring.

Anyway, I felt such a strong surge of energy jolt through my body. It felt like I found a part of myself I had been searching for forever. Just to see the handwriting of a naive fifteen year old version of myself, loving something so much, was really powerful.

Sorry to bring up Lennon again, but this brings me to the point of this journal. There's a British film called "The Killing of John Lennon"...obviously the title speaks for itself. The Catcher in the Rye played an important role in Mark David Chapman's life around the murder, to the extent where he actually believed he was becoming Holden. It's obviously one of the most fucked up and twisted stories in our recent history. But the film looks fucking fantastic, and I've been waiting to see it for months. Though it was released in the UK last year, the release date for the states was in January. January 2nd to be exact. The same say my Catcher in the Rye appeared on my floor. Man, I dunno...I think these "coincidences" are the universe really trying to say something. But I'm still trying to figure it out. There's no conclusion...just yet.

Moral of the story...




(: said...

i dont think i've read that book. it wasnt required at my school for some reason. i was kinda a bum out in high school. i regret it now, so just last week i went out and bought all those classics that you read in english and im re-reading them.

like: night, lord of the flies, the adventures of tom sawyer etc. should be fun though.

im not sure but i dont think i said happy new year to you yet, so happy new year.

cristina said...

ooh crazy stuff!

we are supposed to read that book in english honors this semester.
now im super excited to read it!

oh and i have been dying to see that john lennon movie!

Anonymous said...

catcher in the rye was one of my favourites too.
if you're ever looking for a book to read in the future, you should try 'special topics in calamity physics' by marisha pessl. for some reason the main character strikes me as a mixture between holden and esther (from the bell jar). just a thought

courtney said...

this made me think of ms. nuzman

Anonymous said...

That's hella freaky.

Michelle M. said...

I get real excited when I find stuff from when I was younger. It's fun to look back at what you were then and realize how much you've changed since then.

Heh, I might actually stop by at Borders when I go there and look into that book, "catcher in the rye" It seems quite interesting.

I have to admit, you're blog posts are interesting and i will return to read more.


Anonymous said...

read the glass castle

Anonymous said...

ditto on the highlighting the shit out of the book, but in a different perspective. Instead of focusing on context, symbolism, or perspective, when i was hs (forever ago) i focused souly on language, specially cuss words. Salinger had this insane way of turning something crude into the most intriguing, eloquently written verse.

fuck you.

and read franny and zoey.

Anonymous said...

happy new year :)

Anonymous said...

hmmm.. thats pretty much what mine looks like too (only i'd dog-eared most of the pages)..

. . .and you might not care to read this, but its definitely not "hokey pokey" lol (or w/e you called it) things are just fated sometimes, and its nothing that we can control, good or bad.

..atleast thats how i feel..

but im glad you found your copy!


x J

Alexandra said...

For one thing, I absolutely love that book. My freshman English teacher gave it to me as a gift at the end of the year because I was moving to yet another high school, and to this day I absolutely love it.

Anyways, I was reading your part about everything happening for a reason, and it immediately made me think of this one thing that happened to me that I'd like to share.

When I was in third grade my mom bought me my first gold necklace. It was a cross with the edges engraved. Very classy. Very simple. Very pretty. I wore it every single day for about a month before one day, while playing in the yard it fell off and I didn't realize it until that evening. The next morning, my mom, dad, and I searched for the cross to no avail.

Fastforward, about five years later. At this point in my life I was about fourteen years old. I was going through a difficult time dealing with some big family issues and I didn't have a damn clue how to handle any of it. I felt pretty lost. My mom and I had gotten into a fight about her ex boyfriend and I wandered outside, not wanting her to see my cry when the conversation was over with. I was kicking around rocks in the driveway and something shiny caught my eye. It was a little dirty but yes, there it was. The gold cross I'd lost five years earlier.

The first thing I said to myself was, "if this isn't a sign...I don't know what is."

I don't think it's fluff. In fact, I entirely get it.


Anonymous said...

I've never read a book in english and it scarys me. haha. maybe someday! every semester I have to read one and it makes me very tired to think read other one :x
but you let me curious about that!

Anonymous said...

i saw this girl who looked strangely like you today. and then i went online to see if you go to ucla...! it was probably you. what an odd moment. were you sitting in a corner by the elevator typing on your laptop in broad?

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

more blogs!

samantha. said...

I don't know you personally, but I was just about to suggest that movie to you, since I know that you appreciate both Catcher in The Rye and John Lennon. I'm watching the movie as we speak, and let me tell you, it is amazing. It's even more meaningful when you've read the book beforehand. Definitely watch it, it's $7 Ondemand at the moment. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

i suggest a classic 'ask me anything' post soon.

old school.

rebeccaRAMPAGE said...

I don't think I've ever identified more with a book then I have with Catcher In the Rye. Its amazing. Have you read Franny & Zooey? Its a great Salinger book too, you should check it out, if you haven't. =]

Serina said...


yesterday i was by my boyfriend
and i never look trough his books
and i found catcher in the rye

and now im reading your blog

it has a different cover though.. =)