Friday, December 21, 2007
I came to a realization the other day: my mentality when it comes to dudes is back to where it was in high school. And this, my friends, is brilliant. I finally don’t care anymore. Guys are put on this earth (in my intelligent opinion) to entertain me when I’m bored and to make out with. I just realized that I am far too busy and honestly far too selfish to be devoting too much time to a guy. Its really distracting and time consuming and honestly way too fucking stressful and dramatic. Now, this isn’t saying I would just up and leave if I met the man of my dreams (Jim Sturgess, this means you). I just have no desire to “go out and look for a boy”. For once in my life, I don’t feel pessimistic or incomplete or bummed because I don’t have a boy to talk to or to hang out with or whathaveyou. I actually feel quite free. I’m twenty years old. I’m far too young to be in an terribly serious relationship. These are the days where I need to go out and experience different places and experience different people and experience life.
After Ryan and I broke up (what was this, like two years ago?), I started getting really emotionally attached to guys really fast. I’d rely on others to make me feel beautiful and complete. And I don’t know what it is, but over the past few months, I’ve just learned to not give a flying shit about guys. (And honestly, why would I? You're all a bunch of damn baboons.) I don’t NEED a boyfriend. I need to focus on ME. I know I’m beautiful. I know I’m happy. You don't need to tell me twice. And that’s a stupendous thing.
In other related news, I had a dream about Adrien Grenier last night. He fell in love with me. I need him to be my boyfriend or else I will be miserable for eternity. FUCK, HE IS SO HOT! That is all.